ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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