Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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