:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
