Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
