Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize