First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
