I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
