When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I licked your asshole in confidence.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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