we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
