In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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