so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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