i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How's work?
Spinning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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