So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
