Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
