I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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