She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
