I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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