On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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