so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The feeling are messing with the penis
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
