why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
