you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
