I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
