i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
50% drunk capacity currently
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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