new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
