On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
