its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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