He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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