yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
