How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
