Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
