he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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