i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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