I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
