So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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