Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
