I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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