My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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