I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
