He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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