I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
