I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
