alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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