ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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