Are we in a gay sports bar?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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