My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
