if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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