I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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