You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The Olympian is in my bed
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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