there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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