Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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