Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
