after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize