10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
