To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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