I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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