Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
