And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
