I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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