Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
